self help

MY HEART IS BROKEN!!!!!!

It is 3:03 in the morning and SLEEP has decided to break up with me …

With an active toddler, an extremely busy work and life schedule I am like come on MAN!!!!!! SLEEP!!!! I love you…Please don’t do this to me… Not today please…U will break my heart if you leave me… Pleaseee stayyyy!!!!

Well SLEEP was like …. “U broke up with BLOG!!! ” So u are only getting back what you sowed… LOL!!!!! (I am quite amazed on how my mind works) heheh.

Where are my manners !!!!

Hey peeps!!!! How are you all doing. Looking back now, my last blog post was in 2013 (since then marriage, baby, new job, business has happened)* I have been a busy BEE!!!! :-/…

Through no choice of my own, my ever busy MIND has refused to settle down for the night, so I thought… Ahh!!!! I might as well download my thoughts… Which might help put me to sleep, and besides sharing is caring … Plus it can be therapeutic to SELF (myself that is hehehe)

Yesterday… I experienced a mini SHOCK!!!! I had a mini panic attack!!!! I had a tight deadline to meet and at the 24th hour your girl completely FROZE!!!! (Like that last minute … I won’t be able to hand in my essay in time kind of feeling)!!. Plus the fact I allowed some personal stress dictate my day… the obvious outcome was inevitable!!! *singing “let it go… Let it gooooo (from Disney movie FROZEN) hehhehe !!!

Reflecting on my day, reminded me that we sometimes live in a state of anxiety that is largely disconnected from the reality of our otherwise normal circumstances. My daily anxiety is not as frequent(Trust me I am an anxiety monster Lol)….thanks to my understanding of what triggers it. However it still remains a puzzle to me. (Please judge me not… I am only being honest here!!!)

People encounter major losses in their lives, and sadly, many never get over them. When tragedy occurs and the hurt seems unbearable, the devil sees it as a gateway to attack…

Anxiety/grief could be due to the death of a loved one, the severing of a close relationship, failure in business/a business deal or loosing a job etc.

For me when I feel anxious, this is how I cope…. I take each new day as a blank page in the diary of my life , turning that diary into the best story i possibly can. Every morning is a fresh beginning. Every day is the world made new.

Now all that looks easy on paper, however in reality ….. NAH!!!!! reaching that goal is hard and needs extreme effort. Half of the time I don’t even attempt to try but rather let it consume me which leaves my mind in a state of ………!!!

Thus I began my search and finally began to be honest with myself and with God. He was(God), willing to answer my questions without putting me down. He was gentle and drew me into His arms. He began to show me that life is not full of fear. He began to show me JOY! I began to trust Him and let go of some of my control( I am such a control freak). Letting go is such a hard thing( I am not fully there yet) but it can be done gradually.

A favourite verse of mine is Jeremiah 29:11; “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Romans 8 and 1 corinthians 2 both also say that our natural minds cannot receive the things of God’s word unless we connect with him in the spirit (my interpretation). This is true because the enemy will always try to manipulate us as puppets through the control of our logic and rational thinking. However we are untouchable if we are connected to God in the spirit (again … This is my interpretation/how I see things)

“The Spirit also helpeth our infirmity: for we know not how to pray as we ought; but the Spirit himself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered; and he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to”(Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭26-27‬ ASV)

God wants to be our leverage in living, empowering us to feel better about ourselves, more excited about our future, more grateful for those we love and more enthusiastic about our faith.

To end my very long rant… let me just say, “Do not lose your hope!” (Indirectly speaking to SELF)

I always tell myself that a new beginning is in front of me. We may go through some things that we never understand, but trust God to work them out for your good. What Satan intends for your harm, God can turn around for your good!

Today I stand with you and I pray Jesus gives you/ME the peace he promises you/ME (Isaiah 26.3 to 4 and that the medicine of his words will always be your/MY health and strength.( proverbs 4.20 to 27).

Have a Fabio and blessed week…. More rant to come !!!

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